Drive and how reconnecting with values helps leaders slow down and ground themselves
Leadership can be rewarding but it can also feel quite lonely. I hear this a lot from people in senior roles. There is a sense that you have to carry everything and stay steady for everyone else, and that pressure slowly becomes part of everyday life. You get used to being the person who is seen to have it all together and who keeps going no matter what. There is always something to be doing and someone who needs you. It is easy to see how the state of busyness and drive becomes the norm. Many people do not realise how quickly leadership burnout drive mode becomes normal, because it builds slowly through constant busyness and pressure.
Many leaders find themselves in drive mode almost all the time. Drive mode is defined by busyness and even when you are sitting still your mind continues planning and organising and strategising. Outwardly this might look like taking work home, working longer hours, living in a bubble, forgetting to hydrate. I have even spoken to people who say they are too busy to go to the toilet. You know you are under pressure but you rarely pause long enough to notice what is happening internally.
Burnout often creeps up on people in this space. They do not notice it because drive mode does not allow room for introspection and there is always an excuse to keep going. I will slow down when I meet this deadline. I will rest when things are quieter. People around them might notice they are in a bubble. They might seem snappy or disconnected or disinterested. Family life and relationships can suffer because drive ends up being prioritised. It begins to feel like surviving the day rather than living the day. This is often where leadership burnout drive mode takes over, and people around you notice the change long before you do.
Some of the work I do in the therapy room is about controlling the controllables. Yes there will always be tasks and deadlines but the bigger picture is values and that we matter and that our life is more than the next thing on the list. I help people pause and look inward at what their mind and body might be needing and how connected they are to the things in life that matter most to them. When it comes down to it this is rarely about ticking things off at work.
Identifying values can help with this. Values are the things that matter most to us but when life is busy we drift away from them without noticing. When people come back to their values they often feel more grounded. There is more clarity and it becomes easier to make choices that feel aligned rather than reactive. It also supports a more sustainable way of leading because you are acting from a place that feels steadier rather than pressured. For example one of the value cards focuses on connection and reminds you to pause long enough to notice who and what brings warmth into your life. That small moment of remembering can create a quiet but important shift. When leaders slow down even briefly they often notice how disconnected they have become from their values after so much constant busyness.
To support this I have created a set of values in action cards. They are simple prompts that help you pause and reconnect. Many people use them when they become aware they have been in drive mode for too long or when life feels full and fast. They offer a small moment of reflection that can bring you back towards what matters.
If you would like them you can download them here.
There will always be things to do and people who need you but that does not mean you disappear in the process. Moments of reconnection however small can help you come back to yourself.